Let’s face it. There’s not a whole lot to do on an airplane. The air is thin, the sound is deafening, and short of being in first class and having Mel Gibson or someone sit next to you, you’ll be lucky to read a little, wonder why a strange sound is coming from the left wing, or lug out your laptop and try to catch up on business. Now, in order to cut costs, many airlines are taking away their more edible culinary offerings. Still, on some longer flights the smell of something at least somewhat nice may waft out of the galley. Pasta, perhaps, with fresh basil and tomato, olive oil and vinegar over Romaine lettuce (which keeps as well as the indigestible iceberg variety, but which airlines NEVER use). But instead, you detect the familiar smell of reality – institutional pot roast (nothing like the real stuff). Time to make everyone around you suffer.
You have, in your one carry-on, a not so large, throw-away box or a set of plastic bags filled with an exquisitely prepared picnic. There is no “Italian-style” dried-herb, preservative-filled dressing here. There is no mushy meat with fatty sinews and canned cheese sauce, and there is certainly nothing even resembling that bizarre concoction found on almost all airline trays – you know, that thing that is always pink, sticky, artificially flavored, laced with Cool Whip; that thing bearing the audacious misnomer, “dessert.”
Your companions on Flight Whatever are eyeing your tray with unabashed envy. Some are drooling onto their computers.
The attendant has generously provided a fork and spoon (no knives – I might kill someone), salt and pepper, and anything, absolutely anything, that you wish to drink. You have with you, in your little baggie or box, the simplest of fare: two chunks of not too fragrant cheese, a perfect, polished Fuji apple, two fresh, Kalamata rolls (or a little focaccia, as the case may be), three or four slices of rare roast beef, or, if you prefer, one poached, broiled or sautéed chicken breast, a small bottle of Dijon mustard, a small bottle of olive oil and a deep red tomato to bite. Instead of pink pom pom dessert, you will have a thin slice of Texas Pecan Torte, or perhaps a tiny paper cup of frozen Valrhona chocolate mousse. After two hours in the air, it is almost thawed and of a silken consistency.
Meanwhile, your companions on Flight Whatever are eyeing your tray with unabashed envy. Some are drooling onto their computers. Most are polite and only stare, but one of the three Italians sitting behind you is gazing longingly at the chunk of Parmesan, and a homesick resident of the UK is eyeing the Stilton.
“Would you like a tas…?”
“Si! YES!” cries the Italian and holds out his hands in supplication. He is attractive, really, in a hungry sort of way.
It is as simple as Texas Pecan Torte to take a delectable picnic on your next flight. There are shops all over the city which will pack a lunch or dinner for you, but you can put together a lovely little picnic at home without too much trouble. Plan a dinner the night before that will have leftovers: the sautéed chicken breast or a small filet of beef or pork. A little cold pasta is nice to have around, and a very good frittata can be made ahead with pasta, eggs, and vegetables, then sliced and taken along for the ride. Choose firm fruits and vegetables to avoid a mess in the carry-on, and put everything in disposable containers. If you don’t mind doing a bit of washing up on the plane, you can cut up an assortment of fruits or fresh tomatoes.
One good reason for taking a picnic on the plane is that airline food generally contains far more calories than taste, and far more preservatives than nutrition. If you have to go through the rigors of long flights, why not at least have the pleasant interruption of a thick tuna, apple, and onion sandwich on seven grain bread or thin slices of smoked salmon on dark rye spread with a fine layer of sweet butter. Toss in a couple of green onions and a lemon to garnish the salmon, order a beer and drive the Swede across the isle really crazy. If you have to eat at 40,000 feet, you may as well enjoy a truly haute cuisine.
SUGGESTIONS FOR PICNICKING ON ANY FLIGHT OF FANCY:
FRITTATA
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
2 cups pasta or rice, cooked
1 small sweet onion, chopped fine
1/2 cup zucchini, mushrooms, broccoli or whatever is in the fridge, sliced or chopped medium
1 large tomato, chopped, or 1 cup tomato sauce
2 tablespoons fresh basil, chopped fine
4 eggs
pinch of pepper
½ cup grated Parmesan
In a large skillet, sauté the onion and vegetables in oil until well browned. Add the pasta, chopped tomato or tomato sauce, stirring it into the vegetable mixture. Beat 2 tablespoons of the grated Parmesan with the eggs and add the mixture to the pan, distributing it over the vegetables. Heat the broiler of the oven. Cook on medium heat until just firm, then sprinkle grated Parmesan on top and put the frittata under the hot broiler for a few seconds until browned. Let cool. Cut and wrap in foil for picnic, then put in plastic bag and pack just before leaving.
If you have to go through the rigors of long flights, why not at least have the pleasant interruption of a thick tuna, apple, and onion sandwich on seven grain bread.
ONE MOUSSE FOR THE ROAD
4 ounces semi-sweet chocolate
2 tablespoons Bourbon
2 tablespoons strong espresso
2 eggs, separated
4 teaspoons sugar
a few drops of vanilla
In a heavy saucepan over very low heat, melt the chocolate in the Bourbon and espresso, stirring constantly just until the chocolate melts and is smooth. In a bowl, whisk the egg yolks and sugar together until smooth, add the vanilla and warm chocolate mixture, and whisk well. Let cool for 10 minutes. In a bowl, beat the egg whites until firm but not dry. Fold the egg whites gently into the chocolate mixture, and spoon the mousse into disposable cups with lids. Freeze. These are edible for up to 4 hours. After that you might have to drink the mousse; it’ll be a lot better than lime green Maraschino Peanut Butter Surprise.
THINGS TO CHOOSE FROM FOR PICNICKING
- Smoked salmon, smoked chicken, smoked trout
- Poached chicken breast, cold fried chicken, chicken or turkey salad, sliced turkey, prosciutto, salami, pastrami
- Sliced rare beef, sliced pork roast, sliced veal roast
- Firm tomatoes, apples, pears, bananas, peaches, plums, apricots
- Whole grain breads, French rolls, focaccia, pita bread stuffed with any of the above meats or salads
- Individual cartons of yogurt, cottage cheese or ricotta
- Little jars of pate or meat and chicken spreads, sold at many supermarkets or delicatessens. Bu do check for nitrates.
- Tozzetti, oatmeal or chocolate chip cookies, chocolate mousses, individual tarts, petits fours, single-serving pastries of all kinds
- Tiny bottles of olive oil (any plastic traveling bottle will do), mustard, honey and jam (if you are thinking of a breakfast picnic) found at supermarkets markets or Italian delis.
Check your supermarket carefully the next time you travel; there are all kinds of picnic foods to take along, and you’ll touch down feeling better than you would after the miserable fare on airplanes. And, the hungry bello Italiano has offered to show you just where to get the best parmigiano reggiano in Rome.
