Well, maybe not so sweet for some. Present company excluded, of course. But I’ve been reading so many articles lately about sleep deprivation and about how you homo sapiens should consider adding sleep to your daily healthy regimen. You know, besides eating properly, not smoking, drinking less alcohol, and getting enough exercise.
Hey, for me sleep IS exercise! My mama (the other writer of this column) had a friend whose boyfriend used to snooze off quite often, even at parties and on buses and such, and when he was asked just what he thought he was doing, he’d say, “I’m doing sleep yoga, of course!”
My papa used to get his best thoughts on the couch in his office, taking a little semi-nap — you know that place between sleeping and waking where you get so many things worked out? Well, the cleaning lady would say to papa’s then-wife, “Should I clean Mr. D’s office?” And papa’s wife would say, “NO, NO, don’t bother him — he’s working!”
Stretch out full length on a comfortable surface of your choice — this includes couches, beds, nice, soft just-mown grass, or the kitchen counter (really, it’s very nice and cool).
And when my papa worked at a studio in Hollywood, his secretary, who disapproved of sleeping in the daytime, would knock on his office door after his short afternoon nap and growl, “It’s time for your milk and cookies!”
But, really, a couple of pretty good television series came out of those naps!
So I hope it’s clear that we need sleep for all sorts of reasons. The fact is that we don’t get enough sleep nowadays because of cellular phones, iPads, and screens. All those flickering lights and bits of data have to be processed, and what is the result? Disturbed sleep.
We cats don’t have these problems.
Hotels are putting in more comfortable mattresses; airlines are streamlining their chairs to be more sleep-friendly, even spritzing the comforters they offer with sleep-inducing fragrances and spritzing the cabins with relaxing mists of essential oils.
You human people just have too much trouble going ninna nanna in this crazy, technology-troubled, very disturbing world.
But not me!
I’m starting a School for Snoozers and anyone is welcome to come and take classes. Here are the tenets:
Clear your mind (if you have one, that is; sometimes I wonder about my two legged friends.)
Stretch out full length on a comfortable surface of your choice — this includes couches, beds, nice, soft just-mown grass, or the kitchen counter (really, it’s very nice and cool).
If it’s winter (it might be in Australia), build a nice crackling fire right next to your chosen sleep area, and then stare into space until your eyelids droop. This may take a few seconds. If you need a demonstration, just find a feline person and watch. You’ll never be as adept at it as a cat of course.
Do not open your eyes, even when someone tries to rub your tummy or talk tell you how adorable you are.
Just ignore them.
You’ll be asleep in seconds and you won’t wake up for about 13 hours.
That’s it — free of charge!
